i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
