Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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