When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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