YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Alive.
So much puke
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
