Have you finally orgasmed yet?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have tasted many bathrooms
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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