I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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