May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
