so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
