You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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