I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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