there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize