oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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