Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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