Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
try to milk me bitch
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