I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Alive.
So much puke
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
