The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
