also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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