I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize