What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
