Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
