Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
