I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
