So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
