I cockslap morals
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize