so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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