New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
