St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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