I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
