Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
