so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
