PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's the barista slut.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
