The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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