i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
