i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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