i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
