you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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