Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
