I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize