So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it glows. i had to have it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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