And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
