I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
