There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this hospital has no fireball
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
