More tranny stories later!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
