She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize