it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I forget how to act sober
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
