I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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