Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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