I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize