Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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