i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
