He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
