at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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