Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
