my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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