i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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