cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
