What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
