either way he was missing a nipple.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
