scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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