things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
